Anybody else remember this song from back in the day? Good ol’ Ronan Keating of Boyzone fame?.. Nope?… *Ahem* okay…
As the title suggests, yesterday was a bit of a rollercoaster.
So, I thought I was going for a Long Term Condition Review at the doctors. That’s what the text said.
It took me all morning to psych myself up for the appointment and absolutely nothing else I needed to do that day got done in the meantime, of course. When I arrived, I sat wobbling my leg up and down like a maniac, chewing my thumb nail/skin, whilst waiting for my name to be called.
When called, I ignored the fury inside of hearing my full name said aloud (and resisted the temptation to snap ‘it’s KAZ!’ as I often do…) and followed what I assumed was the doctor in to the consultation room.
We sat, did the usual ‘how are things’ chat, then he started looking through my medication. Cool, never done that before! As we went through the list I had some questions and was promptly interrupted.
“Oh, I’m not a doctor. I’m a pharmacist. You’ll have to speak to your GP about that…”
Oh! Okay then… So this wasn’t a Long Term Condition Review at all? No. It was a medication review.
Well, you can imagine what I was like after that. A jittery, confused, nearly-crying mess. What a shambles. I’d been completely blind-sided (dramatic? yes. How I felt in that moment? Also yes…) and now had no idea what was going on, or what I was going to say.
Needless to say the rest of the appointment was just me babbling, trying not to cry and trying to find a way to make sure my need for an ADHD consultation/discussion/chat/whatever you want to call the first step was mentioned, too.
I discovered that my pain meds had been reduced without my knowledge. Not in strength, but in quantity — explaining why I’d run out sooner than I should have over the last couple of months.
I asked that this was put back to normal, because I needed them. I also asked that the GP contacts me if they’re going to reduce something, so I don’t think I’m going insane when there suddenly aren’t enough tablets left at the end of the month.
I also asked that my pro-cal shots were upped to 28, from the 7 prescribed. These are essentially little bottles of calories to help me put weight on. Prescribed to be taken once a day (in 4 different gulps) I’d only ever been given enough for a week. Something I’ve mentioned countless times before was finally put right. Yay!
I then explained that I’d stopped taking my depression meds about a year ago because they made me too groggy in the morning (and I can’t very well visit and look after dad whilst unable to function myself), so was referred to the mental health nurse for review. That was my chance to mention ADHD — so I somehow managed that and will be able to discuss this with them in 2 weeks, too. (If I can remember what I wanted to say!)
I was also booked in for a blood test because apparently being tired all the time isn’t normal. We’ll see what comes of that in the coming weeks, as well. (If they can actually get anything from me… My veins are not the best due to near-constant prodding throughout my childhood… Plus my absolute fear of needles! 😣)
Lastly, he said he’d get the GP to ring me about my acid reflux medication and, to his credit, I was called within an hour and prescribed extra stuff to help, along with anti-sickness meds for the really bad days. He also said he’d chase up the camera test that was meant to be re-booked around 5 years ago, seeing as I still hadn’t heard a thing after the first came back inconclusive…
I forgot to mention to him my constant overheating/sweating (something I pointed out to the pharmacist as I stood to leave the office — it was a plastic chair and, well, you could see where I’d been sat because my legs/behind had left a lovely little imprint! Fabulous...😂) I guess that’ll have to sit on the back-burner for a while (no pun, if that can be classed as one, intended there, haha…)
All in all a kind-of productive appointment but nothing like what I thought it would be. I’m no closer to sorting out what I intended to sort out, but other things have been addressed that I’ve been putting off for months/years simply because I just didn’t want the hassle.
When I left, I had a bit of a sob in the car, because toddler-brain here wasn’t happy with not getting what she initially wanted out of the consultation, then proceeded to visit dad for the afternoon.
We discussed cognate anagrams (fabulous things! My brain is so happy reading stuff like this!), how far he’s gotten reading The Hobbit, sorting through reams of his poetry and the possibility of starting his own blog about Parkinson’s/Dementia/the healing power of Poetry & Writing. (Watch this space!)
My visit not only cheered him up, but it helped me to ground myself and stop fretting about the appointment I’d just had. No, it wasn’t what I wanted it to be but I did get something out of it. Which is better than nothing at all.
That doesn’t mean I’m any less frustrated, though. Our healthcare system really isn’t designed to help people now, is it? Unless you’re in immediate danger they’re happy to just fob you off, delay you, redirect you etc. It’s not right, especially when it comes to mental health. But that’s a topic for another day.
In the meantime, I’ll keep researching, keep writing and keep reaching out when I need to. I’ll get there in the end, I guess. It’s just going to take time. So I’m hoping I’ll have the strength and resolve to keep pushing for it, because, right now, it all seems just a little bit too much to handle…
Until next time,
KD x