** Possible Spoiler Alert ** (Although, I’m so far behind on the franchise, I’m sure you all know what happens in this movie already 😂)
I watched Captain Marvel (the first one) last night and, as the story unfolded, something really hit home for me.
I struggle SO much with emotional dysregulation.
Crying over ‘nothing’, getting irrationally angry over the silliest of things, freezing in fear for no apparent reason (you know the drill!) but watching this movie made me realise that, with the right help and determination, I can channel those emotions and use them to my advantage. Yay!
Much like Captain Marvel (Marvelle?) herself. Once she’s able to focus and control her emotions her superpowers are second to none. She can, quite literally, take on the world. That’s where I want to be.
I have a lot of work to do.
Boy, don’t I know it. But once that work is done (with what I assume will be the help of proper therapy and/or medication) I’ll finally be free of the restraints of dysregulation and able to harness my emotions. To have them work for me as intended, rather than hindering me at every turn.
I’m finally going to take the first step toward improving this part of me.
Yes, it’s taken me ages, I know, but I’ve got a doctor’s appointment about my long-term health condition booked in mid-week, and I’ll be asking them if we can start the process of an ADHD diagnosis whilst I’m there.
I’m scared.
I’m scared it won’t happen because neither of my parents will be able to provide the background information they apparently require/ask for to make a formal diagnosis (Mum isn’t in the picture and Dad has dementia).
I’m scared not having my school records will mean they can’t see what I was like as a child. Even if I did have my records, they wouldn’t show the ‘classic’ signs of ADHD. I know this. I wasn’t a ‘hyperactive’ or ‘disruptive’ child. Although it does present differently in girls/women, perhaps my records would have reflected something.
It’s definitely a fear of the unknown at this point.
I’m hoping there are ways around what seems to be the standard route to diagnosis in order to get this confirmed, once and for all. Surely others diagnosed late in life didn’t have all this information either, or the means to provide it?
Either way, I’ll be asking the question, getting the ball rolling, and officially starting that part of my (loooong) journey to better mental well-being 😊
I’ll keep you posted, as always. Let’s see how it goes!
❓ Do I have any readers who have been diagnosed after childhood in the same situation as me right now?
If so, please let me know in the comments, if you’re happy to share your experience. I’d love to know what I’m going to be facing before I get there.
Until next time,
KD x